Sunday, April 24, 2005


very long never show off on my blog liao.. haha..

today i went back to the new keat hong camp for ARR time trail as i expected..

the night before was quite terrible.. was quite tired and i fell asleep pretty quicky (one of the few times).. but unfortunately.. i woke up at bout 3.20am due to a few itchy mosquito bites.. then after that i cant fall asleep already.. sigh.. by the time i fell asleep.. i guess its bout 5am liao.. coz the last time i looked at the clock was at 4.45am.. then i woke up at 620am..

quickly took a bite on the way.. double chocolate powerbar courtesy of the singapore biathlon.. and a packet of milo.. gotta sqeeze half the powerbar into my mouth coz the bus was coming.. it was only at clementi mrt where the bar got down into my stomach..

took a cab to keat hong camp coz i was getting late.. but i din realise got ppl later than me.. if not i wont take cab liao.. moreover the taxi driver drive so slow.. :S

it was quite fun.. getting to meet ppl whom i met during my NS days.. especially those whom went thru AOCC (Armour Officer Cadet Course) with me.. and of course my Brigade CO, Dy S3, Dy S4, QM and fellow officers from the 3 sister units.. din know NS can be quite fun also..

yeah.. as expected.. we had a time trial on the track - a new phenomenon in camps now.. we did a 1.2km time trial.. due to the lack of sleep.. i dont really feel fit to run.. but when i heard go.. i guess i juz told myself to do my best..

as the 3rd wave.. i've seen how the first wave people ran too fast in their first leg.. so i paced myself... but only to find myself running at 1:18 for the first round.. 2 sec faster.. well.. second round slowed down a litte.. 1:25.. haha.. and that makes 2:43.. and last round i ran a 1:17.. yeah.. so i ran 1.2km in 4 min!! never have i completed such a feat.. haha.. i timed myself before for 1.2km.. and i ran a lousy 4:30.. yeah.. so i'm so happy.. i wonder if i could hide my happiness in front of my other comrades.. haha.. wangxin came in close behind with a time of 4:05.. well.. i'm not the only happy one around.. can see LTC (NS) Andrew De Silva's happy face.. with 2 runners almost going sub 4min for 1.2km.. winning the other brigades would not be a problem liao.. haha..

i'm really looking forward to the annual Armour Road Relay on 15 May.. some people dont understand how running can be fun.. but i guess its also a form of character building as mental perseverence and endurance is required more than the physical.. and i do find fun in running..

haha.. i think i'll be gloating around for the next few days.. one of the few joys in this valley expedition of my life..

eventful pre-exam..

this year's pre-exam activities were the pretty eventful and interesting.. i encountered situations which i've never experienced or imagine myself going thru them.. but i really did not regret going thru them.. even at the cost of failing an module..

things happen quite coincidentally.. but i believe that its divine intervention..

first i overslept and missed my CA2 coz i cant really zzz at nite.. so end up missing my CA.. went to see the doctor regarding my situation and was referred to Dr Nagu.. a psychotherapist?

more interestingly.. i missed my retest!! first time in my life i actually mistook a date of anything.. i really din know how it happened.. but i guess it happened.. most prob from the effects of shock when i found out that i overslept for my CA.. snowball effect.. the feeling sure sucks.. to think that some friends replied in quite heart piercing manners.. :(

went thru a lot to settle myself down to face this issue.. meanwhile the LSM2202 mini-project was still on.. couldn't get the results that i should be getting.. added to the stress and worries..

sunday til tues was really special for me.. but due to the privacy of some people involved.. i will ommit it in my blog..

life is a struggle..
walking thru one of the deepest valleys of my life..

Wednesday, April 13, 2005

my lab mates..

lab has been very sucky.. all the stupid experiments and protocols..
but the only thing that made lab so enjoyable are my lab mates..

very interesting and fun people..

gotten to know her in year 1.. same lab group for 2 labs.. and she's always sitting behind me for exams..
she can be described as "the teacher".. always like to scold us.. keeping all of us on our toes.. haha.. the only gal on our bench.. and she's early most of the time.. except when the bus broke down.. punctuality is definitely one of her strengths.. good insights to stuff as gals see things worlds apart from guyz.. a nice gal.. cool to work with and very helpful..

first gotten to know him in yr2 sem 1.. my lab group for general physio.. the connection began one day when we met on the bus on the way for lecture.. and now we are taking 4 modules together..
he.. hmmm.. the man with the mole? nah.. very interesting guy.. he's got a large circle of pretty female friends.. and surprisingly.. he's single.. most prob waiting for the right one to come along.. haha.. can be blur at times.. bringing so much laughter and joy to all of us..

only gotta know him this sem during lab.. nothing special bout him til one day.. i can just seem to know what he's thinking.. haha.. things took off from there..
lit sounds like a very musically talent guy.. had many compositions.. but few were completed.. haha.. likes to make funny noises with his vocal chords.. music actually.. a very witty guy.. making comments that sounds so 'off' but it other meanings belies them..

gotten to know her at lab this sem also.. first conversation with her.. and erm.. hahaha..
a gal who cant stop laughing when she starts.. even the words "black canoe" can trigger it off.. a very bubbly n sweet gal.. likes to hit me though.. and always takes a very long time to reply to me on msn.. then say i ask her bo liao stuff.. :S haha..

yeah.. lab has really been made enjoyable coz of you all.. of course there were others.. like diana's hot friend-jennifer.. lougan.. rajween (esp after today's incident!!).. the group of malaysian gals.. vincent the super brain.. yeah.. and of course others..

wanna thank huixin.. zhihao.. and lit for helping me out so much.. and also tolerating my nonsenses.. haha.. juz i wanna say that i really enjoyed the sucky lab work with a bunch of cool friends..

Thursday, March 31, 2005



誰知道一想你 思念苦無藥 無處可逃

想念你的笑 想念你的外套
想念你白色襪子 和你身上的味道
我想念你的吻 和手指淡淡煙草味道


loving too hard?

juz felt a pain near my heart.. or is it my heart that is painful..

i'm talking bout my heart.. alive and beating.. hope its nothing serious.. dont wanna die yet.. though at times i cant wait to go heaven.. but i guess i've still got lots of stuff yet to do.. of which one is marrying to a lovely wife and have at least 4 beautiful God-fearing kids..

was trying to install LOVE last week.. (preivous entry)

all the other troubleshooting steps work fine.. except the first..

is there such a thing as loving too hard?

gave all i have.. put in all that i can..
after a 10yrs friendship and 4 yr relationship..
nothing is left..
except 2 bitter broken souls and some principles..
no love was in the air..
acting like enemies.. or maybe really enemies..
could it been coz we loved too much?
its been more than a year..
surely that love has taken its toll on me..

today jon asked me.. not exact words.. but the idea is there i guess..
"after being in NUS for so long.. is there any gal whom i consider having a long term relationship with.." (something like that i think..)

i replied.. "sadly no.. there are many lovable and wonderful God-fearing woman in VCF and church.. but there juz isn't any form of attraction.."

am i really deaden to all attraction of the opposite gender?

love.. not hard..
coz you dont love hard.. but love deep..

Thursday, March 24, 2005

installing Love..

Tech Support: Yes, Sir.... how can I help you?

Customer: Well, after much consideration, I've decided to install Love. Can you guide me though the process?

Tech Support: Yes. I can help you. Are you ready to proceed?

Customer: Well, I'm not very technical, but I think I'm ready. What do I do first?

Tech Support: The first step is to open your Heart. Have you located your Heart, sir?

Customer: Yes, but there are several other programs running now. Is it okay to install Love while they are running?

Tech Support: What programs are running, sir?

Customer: Let's see, I have Past Hurt, Low Self-Esteem, Grudge and Resentment running right now.

Tech Support: No problem, Love will gradually erase Past Hurt from your current operating system. It may remain in your permanent memory, but it will no longer disrupt other programs. Love will eventually override Low Self-Esteem with a module of its own called High Self-Esteem. However, you have to completely turn off Grudge and Resentment. Those programs prevent Love from being properly installed. Can you turn those off, sir?

Customer: I don't know how to turn them off. Can you tell me how?

Tech Support : With pleasure. Go to your start menu and invoke Forgiveness. Do this as many times as necessary until Grudge and Resentment have been completely erased.

Customer: Okay, done! Love has started installing itself. Is that normal?

Tech Support: Yes, but remember that you have only the base program. You need to begin connecting to other Hearts in order to get the upgrades.

Customer: Oops! I have an error message already. It says, "Error - Program not run on external components ." What should I do?

Tech Support: Don't worry, sir. It means that the Love program is set up to run on Internal Hearts, but has not yet been run on your Heart. In non- technical terms, it simply means you have to Love yourself before you can Love others.

Customer: So, what should I do?

Tech Support: Pull down Self-Acceptance; then click on the following files: Forgive-Self; Realize Your Worth; and Acknowledge your Limitations.Customer: Okay, done.

Tech Support: Now, copy them to the "My Heart" directory. The system will overwrite any conflicting files and begin patching faulty programming. Also, you need to delete Verbose Self-Criticism from all directories and empty your Recycle Bin to make sure it is completely gone and never comes back.

Customer: Got it. Hey! My heart is filling up with new files. Smile is playing on my monitor and Peace and Contentment are copying themselves all over My Heart. Is this normal?

Tech Support: Sometimes. For others it takes awhile, but eventually everything gets it at the proper time. So Love is installed and running. One more thing before we hang up. Love is Freeware. Be sure to give it and its various modules to everyone you meet. They will in turn share it with others and return some cool modules back to you.

Customer: Thank you!

Monday, March 21, 2005


i used to believe that this is not true.. but i guess.. now i feel differently..

looking around me.. i see pretty gals going out with guyz, whom i wont bring home for my mum to see (if i'm a gal..).. of course exceptions do occur.. but that's the general trend..

i dunno why..

maybe 'bad boyz' are more fun to be with.. they can bring them laughter and lots of teasing.. and fun.. doing stuff that nice, law-abiding nerds will not do..

nice, chivalrous gentlemen maybe an endangered species.. but sadly.. i don't think they are highly sort after.. until the gals are done with the fun and wanting to settle down.. poor guyz..

luckily not all gals are like that.. if not.. i'll may end up being a bachelor.. haha..

Tuesday, March 15, 2005


cant zzz.. i juz cant.. been tossing around my bed for 2 hours plus already.. and i don't know why.. the stressful week has passed..

sometime i really do envy thsoe people who can juz fall asleep like that.. i juz can't..

yet i can't study also.. coz nothign seems to get into my head..

well.. so i went to do some personality test.. haha.. somehow i enjoy doing it.. :)
here's some of the results..







! You are most like An Emerald !
Caring, giving, - and very emotional. You're the
person people turn to with a problem. You worry about everybody, and genuinely want to help - a little too much sometimes. As an emerald, you tend to take a more backseat to the other gems, but your inner beauty soon captivates those who take the time to get to know you. Congratulations ... You're the selfless gem everybody needs as a friend.


You are... WAIT! - you're none of the Sins you're an Angel!
Perfect, or close enough, and annoyingly so! Did you always behave so 'just right'. ARGHHH . you can annoy the hell outta people with your attitude, but no doubt your church is real happy
with you. The positive side certainly outweighs the negative, after all, you do chores, are smart, are cute, do charity work. Least you know what a perfect saint you are. You just make the rest
of us sinners vomit. Perhaps you could break the rules once in a while, go wild - Eat an extra cookie or something. However - congratulations on being the most pure, of the entire human race.

haha.. this is really interesting.. but some of it sounds like me..
so i guess its up to you all to tell me how true is it..:)

ok. its time to go training..

Sunday, March 13, 2005

thankful and grateful..

juz realise that this close friend of mine.. had some hearing problems.. sounds quite bad.. and i can really imagine how hard is it for her..

i'm thankful and grateful for good physical health..
along this journey.. i've learn the appreciate the things i have..

guess i really got to be thankful to God for His blessings..

i'm blessed genetically.. quite good genes.. though my dad has cleft lips.. i did not have that defective gene.. hmm.. or maybe i'm a carrier.. well.. but i'm still grateful.. my physical ograns are in good working condition.. my genes are quite resistant to illnesses.. i seldom fall sick unless i dont take care of myself and push my body to super overdrive.. overdrive my body seems to still be able to take it.. i'm lucky to build muscles easily.. that almost everyone thinks i'm a gym freak.. truth is.. i dislike gym and go to the gym less than 52 times a year!!

though my face looks like the moon with so many pits and craters.. but its all only physical.. so i know that the females friends i have are not that shallow.. haha..

"Lord i thank you for blessing me with good health.. may i learn to take care of myself as i'm fearfully and wonderfully made.. may i also learn to bless those who are not as fortunate as me. May all Glory, Honour, Power and Praise be to You forever and ever! Amen"

busy busy busy

recently its been really busy..
test, reports, essays, homework, training, cell group..
hardly had time to breathe..

so busy that i've got no time to BLOG..

sigh.. so many things i wanna write about..
but when i start writing..
nothing seems to come to mind..

suffering from short term memory to insomnia..

terrible feeling man..

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